Shoot to Thrill: Iron Man 2

“Well, you can forget it. We’re safe, America is secure. You want my property? You can’t have it! But I did ya a big favor… I have successfully privatized world peace.”

Tony Stark is above the law

That’s what Tony Stark says to a Congressional hearing when they request him to turn over his Iron Man armor over to the government. There’s also a crazy Russian who somehow recreates that power source, a Senator who is after the Iron Man technology, WAR MACHINE, and what Goldie’s been waiting for, SCARLETT JOHANSSON.

I want one

Now, based on the trailers and my previous knowledge of Iron Man, what should we expect from the film?

Shoot to thrill, play to kill, too many women, too many pills

First of all, the principle villain should not be seen as the Russian, better known as Whiplash. Yes, he may be almost or equally as intelligent as Tony Stark. Yes, he may have a pseudo suit that has (pretty dope) electro-whips of death. Yes, he may have some sort of vendetta against the Stark family.

I replace all my W's with V's, cause that's how Russians do

But that’s not what makes for the most dangerous villain.

The Senator seen in the trailer is going to be the bigger threat. He sees that Whiplash wants to harm Iron Man, and has the talent to do so. He has his own goals, and Whiplash will only be a stepping stone onto something much more sinister.

There vill be blud in de water, and de sharks vill come

Anyway, enough about the plot. Let’s talk about those things that make us wet out pants. Fist of all, WAR MACHINE!!

Straight G armor

They teased us about it in the last movie, but now, oh baby, I want one of these. The world would just be better if I had a War Machine suit. Much cooler than Iron Man. Even the name is cooler! No one fucks with WAR MACHINE!

And, just as important, maybe even more, SCARLETT JOHANSSONNNNN!!!!

It's just like 23 x 3 except standing up

If thats how she takes mofos down, I’ll be the first to be her personal punching bag. Shit, I’ll do it FO FREE. But I’m sure Goldie will fight me for that job.

P.S.

Here’s the links for the 2 of you who haven’t seen the trailers yet

Trailer 1

Trailer 2

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